Pride in fostering - Emily and Clare

Throughout Pride Month we have been speaking to the staff and carers of Calon Cymru to hear their experiences and share their stories. Here we hear from Emily and Clare about their journey, from when they first considered fostering, to choosing to work with Calon Cymru and their experiences with their placements.

Names:
Emily & Clare

How do you identify?
Emily - Gay/lesbian Clare- Bisexual

What are your pronouns?
She/her

Why did you want to become a foster carer?
We both grew up with people in our extended families who fostered so it was always something that sparked an interest in both of us, this was something we connected over when we first met. Once we were married we felt ready to start our family and for us this meant fostering.

"We were concerned that we could have potentially been less favourable to be approved as foster carers based on how children would feel/manage with a same sex couple as parents."

How long have you been a foster carer?
Coming up to a year.

Did you have any concerns about fostering as a same sex couple at the start of your journey? What were they?
We were concerned that we could have potentially been less favourable to be approved as foster carers based on how children would feel/manage with a same sex couple as parents. Particularly considering they have already had a lot of differences to most other children, we worried a same sex couple as parents could add to this.

How did you overcome these concerns?
We asked Calon right away when enquiring would our relationship/lack of male role in the household negatively affect us as potential foster carers. We were reassured right away this wouldn’t be the case, which is true as we have had children placed with us for almost the entire time we have been approved.

"He also is totally unphased by us being a same sex couple, he proudly says he has 3 mums – us and his birth mum."

Discuss one positive experience you have had on your fostering journey.
Watching our little one come to us as a ball of anger, fear, and no real self-confidence flourish into a caring, funny, kind, sporty young boy. He is loving school, making friends and taking part in sports groups. We will always have challenges along the way but seeing him so happy, enjoying life and thriving makes it so worth it. He also is totally unphased by us being a same sex couple, he proudly says he has 3 mums – us and his birth mum.

Were there any myths about fostering that you have since found to be untrue?
We thought we could have a complete change in life such as things like holidays, family get togethers, getting new pets etc. would be far more difficult to do, that we would be fighting to get approval to do these things – which none of is true! We go on holidays, we have family get togethers and we’ve gotten new pets – our social worker never makes us feel like we can’t, she enjoys seeing photos and hearing all about it instead!

"always use humour and always have snacks!"

If you could give advice to someone interested in becoming a foster carer, what would it be?
Be prepared for the challenges, it won’t be a breeze, but be prepared to feel love and pride like you’ve never felt before! It will make every challenge so worth it. Also, where possible, always use humour and always have snacks!

Anything else you’d like to say?
We are so glad we chose to go through Calon Cymru. We receive so much support and feel really valued. When we attend events all the staff know us and our names (even when we aren’t sure who they are!) and that means a lot.