Proud To Share My Story - Sam Osborne

Calon Cymru Placement Administrator Sam Osborne recently decided it was the right time to share their identity with their work family. Sam identifies as queer and transgender – specifically non-binary transmasculine. Here's their story.

Hi, my name’s Sam and I work as a placement admin covering both Cardiff and Carmarthen offices. I am queer and transgender – specifically non-binary transmasculine. If you’re not familiar with what this means, I am neither a man nor a woman and I’m in the process of transitioning outwardly to be more on the masculine side of the gender presentation spectrum. While ‘queer’ has in the past been used as a slur against the community, many LGBTQ+ people have reclaimed this word and use it as an identity (i.e. the ‘Q’ in LGBTQ alongside ‘questioning’). I use it as a catch all term for my sexuality and gender meaning ‘not straight or cisgender’ but will also use bisexual depending on the situation.

I’ve worked for Calon Cymru for just over 4 and a half years. When I first started, I was only 23 and very wary about sharing anything to do with my sexuality, as I’m sure many people are when starting at a new place. However, everyone I work with is truly so kind and welcoming, I feel comfortable being myself and able to share my identity and experiences.

It is important to me to be visibly queer so that people around me see me as a safe space, someone who could help them if anything came up, and also to be visible representation for people who are closeted, including children/teenagers who may be struggling with their gender or sexuality, to show that it can be ok. I also just like being really open and proud of my identity. Working for Calon I have never felt that the way I dress to be an issue. Whenever I have asked about something specific, I have always been granted permission and I’ve been able to wear my many pride pins, large earrings, and coloured hair without problem. I have never felt judged or out of place, despite being the only gender non-confirming person in the office, and I am able to dress more masculine or feminine to suit me.

While I have known this about myself for a few years, I came out as non-binary to close friends and family 2 years ago, and more officially to everyone in work last November. Coming out as transgender in a workplace is often an intimidating, anxiety inducing experience. Many trans people find they can be bullied, indirectly pushed out from their jobs and even physically attacked by colleagues. And even when this does go smoothly, often they can be subjected to inappropriate questions and comments.

I am very lucky to not have experienced anything like this at Calon Cymru and everyone has been really supportive and lovely, in particular my manager who has been incredible. There have of course been some teething issues with people forgetting my pronoun change, but I expected people to take a while to get used to it.

With information about gender identity being more and more readily available, I’m not sure that the fostering sector as a whole is quite prepared for as many transgender and non-binary children and teens as there are or will be. The language, systems and regulations used are often very binary and biological sex based, which can be confusing or unclear to navigate when transgender children are involved. However, as fostering services continue to expand and improve, there is a definite willingness to learn and grow from social workers as well as management and regulatory bodies which gives me hope for a better resource for these young people in the future.

Calon Cymru in particular have had, and continue to have, external training put on for staff and carers which has been of really high quality and makes me more optimistic for trans and other LGBT+ children we have placed in our care.

While I am not always understood in my transgender non-binary identity, I am always given respect in the workplace and I am continually thankful to work with such kind and open minded people.